Friday, March 21, 2008

My Birthday

Today is my 38th birthday...it seems a non-event, I just don't feel like celebrating...my heart and those closest to me are weary, heavy and tired. How could so much happen in one month? I feel like it has been months since my last post. God is in control and I can only rest in that knowledge.

I've been asking God a lot of questions. I am tremendously sad that people are tragically hurting... relationships have been altered and will never be exactly the same again...there seems to be nothing to do but pray...all the time.

But I KNOW God was not asleep, far from it...nothing happened this past month that suprised Him...my faith in Him is not rocked, my world is chaotic but not up-side down and miraculously my misplaced faith in "man" has not crumbled (it wobbled...and has rallied as I saw God's people do some really hard things), if anything my dependence on Him is only increased and I know that I know God is Good all the Time and He is still in control.

As the congregation sang "Draw me Nearer" one Sunday morning I considered how often I sing and pray that sentiment without truly considering the "stuff" God may bring us through to do just that...draw us nearer to him.