Sunday, March 21, 2010


A FORTY-ith birthday party!  I couldn't believe it...nothing makes a girl's funk subside like feeling all that LOVE!  What a wonderful thing...and I REALLY was surprised.  Everyone involved had me convinced there would be no celebration.  My best friends took me out to dinner one night this week to "celebrate" at our favorite Japanese Restraunt (and had the waiters sing to me!), which was great and fun and the highlight of my week...donchya'll know.  I thought that was it.  Sweet Hubs said, "oh, we could go out to dinner if you really want to"...and reminded me of how busy our weekend was going to be.  I was like "never mind..."  "I'll be fine...I will not pout!"  Nothing like being old and grumpy!

 and all the while....all the friends who kept asking me what was wrong KNEW that I was getting ready to be got!
And it was one of the sweetest surprises of my life...and as I rounded the corner and spied the balloons and decorations, my first thought was...oh, the school must be having some sort of celebration. 
There were 40 (+) icing roses handmade by my very pregnant friend B, and PRESENTS!!!  Each one of those cupcakes on the stand below has a rose on it...

all these pictures are from my sis-in-law's they are what they are, I didn't take a camera to small group...and I almost wore sweat pants (Joe're not going to wear that are you?  He knows what's good for him, haha)

Saturday, March 20, 2010

The Girl's Soccer

The best part about Em's soccer this year is the color of the uniforms, haha!!  She's having fun and I got some great shots...

and this is what happens to brothers who have to wait for a soccer game to be over...

Thursday, March 18, 2010

The funk of fourty is upon me...

I don't know exactly why I'm in a makes no sense.  There are a thousand possible reasons why, yet no single one I can tighten my fingers around.  I always get sad and miss my momma, really all my family-.of-origin, on my birthday...when changes are sensed I long to run for the Hills (the TN hills)
I start thinking about all the people who've come into (and some ultimately out of) my life...the bittersweetness of those friendships...those times...I get sentimental and feel urgency in letting everyone know what they've meant in my life. Abandonment has been a big theme that God has used over and over again in my life...the reality of being abandoned by those in life who should love the most...the fear of the possiblility of it...the acceptance that I may be abandoned by everyone but Him.

I AM kinda tired, been staying up too late and running too much.  The van needs tires...we need to decide about a smaller car Joe has looked at for better gas mileage...I need to return the overdue library books...the girl is already starting to ask what we can do for her birthday...spring cleaning (actually just general cleaning)...stitches that need to be taken overdue visit to to do list is longer than my it's done list.  Maybe my iron's low...or my Vitamin D...or my seritonin...or maybe my heart is just not in the right place.

I am grasping for a heart attitude of joy...thankfulness for the fullness of life...blessings too many to count...the kind of joy that comes in the morning with the calmness of clouds clearing and a gentle breeze...made more poignant by the deep turbulence of a stormy sorrow filled night.

Last week brought a ton of adventure...busyness beyond measure...sweet anxiety filled car ride, unsure what I would find at the end of the drive, and relief when after a few hours in the emergency room all was well.  The girl got brackets and wires on her four front teeth...purple, pink and green...they're quite cute.  My babies are growing, just like expected and I'm thankful they are healthy and for the most part obedient and fun to be around.  I'm blessed that our struggles are minimal for now. I have a husband who has found his calling and is at peace and excited about the future.  He has started to live...again.  He is not just going through the motions, when he tells me how much he appreciates all I do...I feel it in my bones.  We are not keeping score...and are truly trying to serve each other...makes for one of the best places we've ever been during our marraige.

I like being in my thirties....being of child bearing age...being able to check the age range box of 30-39 on a survey...not worrying about retnols for my skin and hormone replacement...cholesterol levels...and if that gas pain could be my heart...wrinkle cream still being for later...not thinking did I get enough fiber today...and why is that inch long hair growing out of the side of my face?  AND IS THAT HAIR ON MY CHIN????

Turning fourty, I'm just not sure about yet.  My vision of what I think it will be like is just not clear and as hard as I squint, I cannot convince myself that I have what it takes to run the race.  In the next decade of my life I will be parenting teenagers... as they begin driving, visit colleges, encountering relationships with others independent of me doing a background check...they will become independent and individualistic...and they probably won't want to snuggle or talk to me all the time, maybe not even at all..and they'll be gone from home more than they're here.  It's not that I dread that time of life, it's just different...a change...

We had a pastor who would wisely say that " growth comes through change (good or bad) and change brings conflict".  I think the tangible changes made in our life over the last few months are being made very real in the form of a number...a new ministry ways that God is going to stretch and grow me and there'll be some conflict.'s all just a big part of the "unknown" of being in my fourties.

until the ponderings continue

Sunday, March 14, 2010

It's one week until...

I'm fourty...what a busy countdown week.  Wednesday was about all I thought I could handle...but then we ended up in the emergency department of our local hospital for a few hours getting these in Nate:

After getting this done for the girl on Wednesday:

Friday really was an uneventful follow up to all those activities.  Friday night was small group at church.  We had a great discussion and I think everyone seemed to be in a great mood.  We're wrapping up our current study and will be starting The Prodigal God, by Tim Keller which I'm very excited about reading and discussing.

A baby shower followed on Saturday for a little sweet miss...lots of pink, lots of fun, lots of laughter...and pink punch.  I love it when the ladies get together...and it's so much sweeter now.
Our pastor's wife did a devotion about mothering daughters that I'm still pondering...and want to read the book some of the ideas came from.  A thought I keep turning around is that it's as important to teach our daughter's not to take offense as it is to teach them not to give offense, with the idea that we women get offended quickly.   I think I'll add a "books to be read" list to my blog so I can keep up with all these wonderful books I keep forgetting I want to read.

Sunday was busy...but worshipful.  A great sermon that you can listen to.  We regret that we have committed to extra activities with the worship service on Sunday night, children's choir will only last a couple more months until it breaks for the summer, but the girl had a talk with the daddy about it feeling like "work" and not feeling like we're having time to "rest" on Sunday.  We'll reevaluate when the time comes.

until more pondering...

Thursday, March 11, 2010


I've never known how to cook fish, so it's been a work in here's a new recipe that's a keeper!  The kids loved it...and I served it with wild rice and steamed veggies...couldn't get any healthier than this!

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Naked Time...

can I tell y'all that I've never been this embarrassed by my children. E.V.E.R.
Not even carrying the girl over my shoulder when she tried to run away in the MALL, of all places. Even as ALL the way to the bathrooms she cried, "Momma don't pank me...momma don't pank me".
Today, the girl and I spent the morning at the Orthodontist (pics to follow) getting a few brackets and wires placed on her teeth.  We had a great morning and I had taken the day off, so we were being quite leisurely.

So, to take advantage of a lunch time away from the clinic, some wonderful ladies and I met at the Chi-wi-chi-wi (Chickfila) for lunch with our wonderful, beautiful, well educated, well mannered children. We had enjoyed each other, the kids had had minimal drama...and I had gotten some almost-newborn baby love from baby Reece.
We were having great grown-up conversation when the man at the other table leaned over and said, "Is that your son?"
I jumped up, cause I could see a blond head...and then as my entire body flooded red with embarrassment...I saw ... the peeper was out!
The pants and underwear were around the knees and the hips were tilted. I was mortified and couldn't get there quick enough. I wasn't sure what he was doing...had he just decided the outdoor carpet was close enough and had he actually possibly peed in the play set???
I am quite proud to say that, somehow, I refrained from committing murder and quite honestly I was so shocked I don't think I even yelled. He's four-an-a-half y'all. He know privates are for private. He knows we only have neked time at home. I do not know what possessed him....he didn't know ("I dun know"). He did know he felt like he was going poo-poo in his pants...but somehow I had failed to have the talk: if you ever feel like you're going poopoo in your pants in a crowded fast food restaurant in the middle of the play set...come get me, DON"T PULL DOWN YOUR PANTS TO SEE....