Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Today...

It is a melancholy day...don't think I really want to list all the reasons why. Ran errands this morning and on the way to the post office...was listening to Casting Crowns "As Far as the East is from the West" and just starting crying. There's a few reasons to cry these days, and it's NOT PMS...at least not today.
Emily asked "what's the singer mean when he says, I'm one mistake away from you leaving me this way?" So, in the minivan, driving 55 miles--make that 35, (oops, we were in the speed trap in Whispering Pines) miles per hour...I shared with her why some days we just feel the weight of our sins no matter if they are forgiven or not, the weight of God's disappointment with us, days when it's so hard to believe He doesn't see our sins anymore when we can remember so vividly...the thought that one more sin will be the straw that breaks the camels back and He will want no more to do with us...even when all this thinking is not what the Bible tells us. We talked a little about how I'm disappointed when she disobeys...I asked her if sometimes when I'm really angry with her for disobeying if she ever wonders just for a minute if I really love her...she understood...and nodded. I asked her if she understands that sometimes when we disobey God, we have a hard time talking to Him. So, we let things build up...and we start to avoid Him, cause we know he's going to remind us of our sin. She piped up and said, "yeah, cause we're scared of getting punishment..." I said, "Yeah, cause we're scared of getting punished" As I often do, I continued to expound until her eyes glazed over and her tongue was flaccid....Theology 101 lesson checked off for the day.
When we got home someone was arriving from the moving company to do a survey of all our worldly possessions to see how many days it would take them to pack us up and move us away. Sad.
Nate napped and we did more school work...only two more weeks and this, the first year of the Arnold's homeschooling is officially complete.
I then spent hours on the computer figuring out curriculum for next year...well, at least considering curriculum for next year. I think I'm going with Sonlight...99.9% sure.
Now, I have a sleeping girl in bed with me...all warm and toasty with Pappaw's teddy bear tucked under her body where she rolled on him in her sleep. Her wild hair stuck to her pink rosy cheeks...she's sleeping with her new lady-bug-old-fashioned-non-digital-watch on, so proud that she can tell time all the way to the minute hand these days. She's so peaceful, so angelic...
Better sleep, the other one will be climbing in soon...saying "nunnie you" (snuggle you)...

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